Self-Care

Relapse

July 17, 2020

Carroll Bryant once said: ” The shattering of a heart when being broken is the loudest quiet ever. “

I always start my blogs with a quotation that speaks to my soul. In this moment, this quotation is on point. I know it may sound melodramatic, but I promise you, it’s not. Let me explain.

I know I have been missing in action, but there is a reason for that. It all started in June, when we found out that my mom’s lymphoma had relapsed. You would think I would be used to her having Cancer. Hearing that word. But, I am not. It was gut wrenching. I cried all day & pretty much haven’t left her side ever since we found out. It has been a very stressful past few weeks.

Let me give you a little background information. In 2016 my mom was officially diagnosed with primary pulmonary non hodgkins lymphoma. We did not have to actually treat it with chemotherapy until 2019. In that time period, my mother had two biopsies done at the same hospital, both came back inconclusively. This time around we had the biopsy done in a different hospital, which finally told us which subtype of NHL she had so we could treat it more effectively. My mother was officially diagnosed with Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma (DLBCL) in July of this year. Thankfully, my mothers oncologist is super smart & on top of everything, he treated her with the appropriate first line of treatment for said subtype last year. Currently we are trying the second line of treatment for that lymphoma & there is a chance she can be cured of it. Whether or not it is curable is dependent on its response to the current chemotherapy regimen. She completed one cycle already & let me tell you, this regimen is brutal. Its only going to get more difficult. But, she is strong! I know in my heart that she will get through this & beat it!

Nevertheless, even though we have been through this before, we have actually been through worse together, it really isn’t any easier or any less scary. However, I have been deep in prayer & am trying to be as positive as possible. I’m only uttering positive thoughts & prayers so they can manifest & come true. Life has many ups & downs, having a strong will, positive mentality & a great support network will get you through anything, even when it seems impossible.

This was a very private thing for me to share, but I wanted to share it so I am able to work through my thoughts & feelings. Always being in your thoughts is not healthy & everyone should have a way to get their feelings out. Having an outlet to share this helps me cope in many ways. It promotes healing because this is my safe space. So, thank you for reading this, it means a lot.

I also want DOP to be a safe space for all of you. If you have personally dealt with cancer or watched a family member or friend go through it & would like to talk about it, I am here to listen. My safe space is your safe space. Comment away & we can deal through this together.

Be Well,

x0x Chanush

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